Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
