you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
