Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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