Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
