No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
