Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
