I puked a lego.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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