In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
