Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
