barbara walters just said penis...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
