I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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