That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
