i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize