Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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