he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This is classic penis vs brain.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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