i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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