i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
