are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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