hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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