I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
