first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
