Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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