what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
