My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
