Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
