i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
