from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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