have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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