That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
well you can't waste a boner
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
