is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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