But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
