Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
