So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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