try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
