singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
