the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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