i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
