I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
