At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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