she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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