id be glad to
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Green mimosas i think yes
As shirtless as possible
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize