Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
