i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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