in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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