Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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