he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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