Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
