Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
