OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize