I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
