I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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