Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
