I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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