i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You ruined the universe
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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