she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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