I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize