She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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