Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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