About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
