i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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