My pussy is not your playground.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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