ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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