Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hippo gnu deer
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
