i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize