Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize