I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Even my vagina gasped.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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