Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
