How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I didn't notice because vodka
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
