I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize